Monday, August 6, 2012

Optimism?

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Sometimes that word just pisses me off. Yes, I meant it as a question and not a statement or fact. Lately, I have had the persistent urge to shoot life the proverbial middle finger. Screw me? Screw you.

Life keeps piling up in these huge overwhelming heaps of dung and every time I get close to falling over the edge, some one pulls me back. I can't stay bitter. Dammit.

Writing was almost impossible this last week. My son spent much of the week in the hospital for a seizure study so my time was dedicated to him, alone. When he was released, I finally sat down to spend time with Beth, Tommy and Ryan. I felt disconnected, rusty and very frustrated so I logged onto Facebook to pick the brains of some awesomely gifted writers I know. I was seriously considering throwing in the towel, that is how close to the edge I was. They didn't coddle me or sugar coat any of their opinions. They pretty much told me to get over myself and get back to work. Then they provided me with the most remarkable feedback and I was able to rework my chapter into something I could never have done without them. Thank you, my darling BAAC friends, for saving Beth from the waste bin.

Today I found out that my husband will be working on a project in Germany for the next year. I found this out about an hour after I formally declared my intent to homeschool our son this school year. At this point cliff diving was sounding pretty darn good. There they were again! These people, crazy people I might add, who let me know that I was loved, supported and appreciated. Damn. Damn. Damn!

Can't a girl just wallow for a bit? Nope. Whenever I felt myself settle in for a good ole fashioned pity party, my phone would ring or my computer would chime with notifications, all from people who just wanted me to know that they were there. How blessed am I ? Beyond measure.

Randall, MP, M3, Fred, Jennifer, MKP, Fear, Brownie, Happy, Nina, Ivory Tower, Cyn, Pauly, Jules and my crazy family: Thanks for keeping a girl from falling apart. I love you, dearly.